I have been noticing a change in the last few years; a lot more men are challenging the traditional view of parenting. In RiM, this has been welcomed and encouraged, a habit that goes way back to the founding days when our owner was very clear that ‘Family First’ was one of our core values.
In order to inspire all Dads (and soon to be Dads) at RiM to be more open about the challenges of balancing their professional and personal lives, I spoke to some of our senior leaders about juggling parenting with full-time jobs.
Allow me to introduce our senior leaders:
- Simon Herkenhoener (SH) – CED – has a daughter Charlotte aged 2
- Iarfhlaith Kelly (IK) – CTO – has a daughter Clara age 3
- Jose Lirio Silva (JLS)– Head of On-Board Retail Europe – has 3 children. Paulina aged 6 and twins Ana and Benjamin aged 4.
- Nils Junga- Director Key Account Management – has a son Ole aged 2.5
- Tim Noack- Head of Business Development Europe- has a daughter Paula aged 3
- Colin McKenna – Head of Solution Architecture and SME Team – has a son Jack aged 11 months
When I asked them to give me one word for their feelings about Fatherhood, Nils Junga came up with the word of the week “Joyhaustion”! Other words were “A journey” (IK), “Happiness” (JLS), “Proud” (SH) and “Caretaking” (CmcK).
Wondering where their style of parenting has come from, I asked how different it is to their fathers and what they saw around them growing up.
Iarfhlaith and his wife, Keelin, are following the gentle parenting philosophy along with Montessori and says his Dad is “amazing”. He gave Iarfhlaith huge support and self-belief whilst opening up the world to him by giving him life experiences and encouraging IK in all of his interests. He made sacrifices but continues to challenge IK on his bike!
Jose feels that he tries to take the best of the parenting he experienced and then do some of the things he didn’t like a bit differently. Being a father has opened his eyes to things he didn’t notice as a kid.
For Nils, there is nothing classic about his parenting style. Whilst his parents carried out traditional roles, both Nils and his wife, Yvonne, work full time and need to share the caring and organising in the best way for them both and Ole.
The same is true for the way Tim was raised and how he and his partner, Jana, share the parenting responsibilities. Tim is a project manager, so he plans well, all the while hoping that Paula doesn’t get sick
Colin also came from the traditional Dad out working/ Mum at home full time style. It’s made him very aware of the importance of spending as much quality time with Jack as possible.
The parenting style doesn’t differ hugely for Simon from that of his parents – his father was equally as hands on in his free time. The circumstances have changed though, his mother was home in the afternoon, she worked as a teacher, whereas Simon’s wife is as involved and engaged in her role as a lawyer as Simon is in his. With all the organisation and coordination this brings, it means the grandparents play a larger role in Charlotte’s upbringing.
In the next part of this series, we will discuss the values of balancing work and parenting and whether they have faced comments or pushback regarding how open they are with being a true partner in parenting.
